Open Secrets

The link below brings to mind another reason why.the gap between the lower and middle class grows wider each year. Who can COUNT ON an additional $3,000 EACH year, “on average”? Some reading these words will think its no big deal, while for others, such a safety net would be a dream come true.

My hero was my first mother-in-law. I was waking up early to pray, taking two buses to get my kid to daycare and then going to work, taking the grocery cart on the bus, and feeling like I had alot on me, while she, with 8 children, worked, woke up at 4:30 to iron and plan breakfast and lunch, and went and got her diploma at some point during all this – cooking big Sunday dinners for all of us to come back to, without a complaint. We all crowded onto the chairs, stairs and every available space. All her kids turned out better than fine, each one with a faithful fine heart, and brag-worthy loving kids of their own – a family that stayed together and takes care of that mom now without a thought – because that’s what you do.
Yet, so many recipients of the financial safety net largesse assume, WITHOUT QUESTION, that they are at the very least, on a level playing field with their colleagues – colleagues like my Ms. Geneva, or the single parent with the special needs children, or the night school attendees, paying their own way by working.
The corresponding secret held close by those financial have-nots, is the deep-seated frustration at those who can’t see. It’s not the inequality that creates the resentment, really. It’s that the help with the rent, car and home repairs, down payment on the house, preferential treatment when applying for jobs, housing etc, freedom from student debt – these add up to unacknowledged (or outright denied) privilege. This refusal to expand one’s world view, this lack of perspective is what causes the resentment.
Openly expressed gratitude and appreciation, towards parents, by their adult children, would create happier families.
Offering of genuine respect by those same adult children, toward peers who struggle and achieve, year after year, without such aid – these would go a long way toward creating less divided and repressed atmosphere among peers. #1stworldproblems #rudetonotice #dontaskdonttell #tabootopics

Secret of Many Urban 20-Somethings

Comfortable Shoe Brigade

Look, I’ve ALWAYS been in the Comfortable Shoe Brigade. Mostly because of the River of Lisa Loopner Running Through It. I’ve stumbled while wearing 1/2 inch flats. More than once. In my late twenties. Publically.

I tried. At work at the engineering firm in my CADD incarnation, dressed for success in my skirt and 1-inch heels, I, Harpo-like, silently tripped over a staircase consisting of only 3 steps, flipping and landing on my side.

The arm that caught me raised me up, so that I, along with my astounded male colleagues, could observe one of my shoes, standing neatly, facing forward, on one of the steps where my foot ditched it. Once everyone knew I was okay, (they were good guys, after all) hysterical laughter broke the silence.

Another day, my boss smiled and silently pointed downwards at my two identical pumps. Identical except that one was blue and one was purple. My son had to be dropped off at camp during that work day. I was a new driver. Work was far. I got up real early. Shoe color was apparently not top priority. I spent the remainder of the day casually and artfully arranging my feet UNDER things.

My shoes must be devoted members of Team Claire. I need their support.